So different

January 19 2008

Back in the western world when the wife or your boss at where you work says, “the bug man is coming today”, it means the exterminator to spray your home or office. So when my Thai girlfriend said, “darling= bug= man come= to= day= ok= with= you.

Sure why would I be angry, it shows initiative on your part dear on keeping the place clean.

So= u= no= angry= me?????

No darling I no angry you.

I am at my computer writing when the door bell rings, DING DONG DING DONG. My girlfriend jumps up from her prone position on the couch and faster then I have ever seen her move she flies like a run away jet to answer the door.

Darling= I= need= 50= Baht ($1.50 US).

Without taking my eyes from the computer I tell her the money is on the counter. She hands it to the man at the door and goes into the kitchen. That was quick I said I don’t even smell the bug spray. She goes to the toilet and I get up for a drink of water and walk into the kitchen. What I found shocked me, a plate of dead bugs and a pair of chop sticks.




These are a strange people and I have learned what words mean to us in English don’t mean the same in Thai. The bug man is coming is not an exterminator but a food deliver service that delivers dead bugs for a high protein snack food.

Can anyone spot the difference in these two photo’s.





If you guessed the toilet seat Is up in photo one you are right. Now back in the states every time I would always put the seat down after I finished taking a piss and if I didn’t I would never hear the end of it from my Farang (westerner) wife. You would have thought I had committed a capital offence. A crime that was punishable by shunning, with holding sex for weeks and dirty looks. I always thought that the wife should put the seat up for us guys so when we are lazy or drunk we don’t pee all over the seat.

Here in Thailand when T wasn’t looking I would sneak in to the bath room and put the seat down and run and jump to my seat at the computer desk with out TGF knowing what I was up to and start typing away. With the eyes in the back of my head I would be watching my TGF to see if she moved, she didn’t and I soon forgot to keep an eye on her and my focusing went back to work on writing. 20 minutes later when I would have to pee I would walk into the bathroom to piss and some how the seat was up. What the fuck how and when did she do this? I never have caught her or found how she has done this deed or if she is even the one who does this. It is just one of the many mysteries of this strange land and its people.

LVP